An Unwanted Declaration?
by mrswazowski3510
Summary: The events that unfold after Chloe tells an emotionless Beca that she loves her for the first time. Minor swearing involved.


**So I've written a Bechloe fanfic before but I used song lyrics and it didn't comply with the rules and shit so I took it down and this is my second effort. It is nothing like my first story and I like it so much more than the first one. It took about 73 years to write... over-exaggeration obviously... but seriously I have re-written this so many times. I actually think I started it in April and have just kept reading it back and adding/changing things but I've finally done it! I'm rather fond of it so R&R (well you don't have to obvs, free country and all but I'd appreciate it 'cause it took me so flipping long to write!)... I'll stop rambling, and enjoy... hopefully. :D**

Chloe sighed happily as she and Beca walked across Barden campus, hand in hand, having just finished an intense Bella rehearsal. They had been together for five months, after finally admitting to the huge and obvious toners they had for each other, at the ICCAs, where the overwhelming elation at their win had caused them to throw their arms around each other, and kiss, much to the surprise of both of them. Neither knew how the other had felt for a long time before that moment. The rest of the Bellas had cheered them- they had finally kissed and shown their feelings for each other. They were relieved, as it meant their hard and exhausting work in trying to manipulate Beca and Chloe into situations where they were alone together, such as intimate dinners or late night study sessions in Beca's dorm, could now be stopped. They were the couple everyone shipped and were so happy when they finally got together. They had become the 'it' couple of Barden and were accepted by everyone, except maybe Tom who still resented Beca for 'taking his girl' as he put it. They enjoyed doing this, just walking aimlessly around the huge college campus or parks, enjoying each other's company, getting lost in each other. They settled down by a tall tree, in the shade, for a quiet moment together.

"Jeez, that rehearsal. Aubrey was a bitch." said Beca, as she lay down, resting her head on her bag and putting her arm around Chloe who lay down next to her, cuddling close to Beca.

"You always think she's a bitch. In fact I don't think you use any other word to describe her." said Chloe playfully, with a wry smile on her face,

"Pretentious. Annoying. Snobby. Someone I could quite happily punch in the face and then-"

"Beca," said Chloe sternly, sitting up slightly and leaning over her, looking straight into her eyes as she did so. "That's my best friend you're talking about there so go steady."

"Please. I've heard you mumbling under your breath in rehearsals about how badly you want to wrap your hands around her neck."she said, propping herself up on her elbows in response to Chloe.

"Yeah, maybe. But that's only in rehearsals where she pushes us and becomes insufferable. I'll admit, she is a handful-"

"Try a fucking nightmare" Beca interrupted.

"- but she is still my best friend ever." exclaimed Chloe, shooting a look at Beca as if to say 'stop it.'

Beca sighed "Then you really are as mad as you look." she stated, as she leant towards Chloe and kissed her. It was a simple kiss, short and gentle, just once on the lips, but as Beca pulled away, Chloe leant in again, pressing her lips firmly to Beca's, deepening the kiss, making it more passionate. As they became more involved in the kiss, Chloe adjusted her position and straddled Beca. It wasn't long before they heard a loud cough behind them. They broke apart and saw Dr. Carson, the biology professor standing above them. He was blushing a deep shade of red and looked rather flustered. Chloe rolled off Beca and started to blush a similar shade when she realised who it was, as she was majoring in medicine and Dr. Carson took many of her classes.

"Girls," he mumbled "If you're going to insist on doing... that... to each other then can you please take it somewhere more private."

"Oh I'm terribly sorry sir." said Beca in her usual sarcastic tone. "I just thought I'd give Miss Beale here a more, hands on, biology lesson." Chloe bent her head and giggled to herself, she knew she didn't have to say anything to her embarrassed professor as she knew Beca would handle this situation perfectly with her wit and blunt nature.

Dr. Carson went even more red. "Yes, well. Miss Beale is managing perfectly well in biology, without these... shenanigans on the open campus." The use of the word 'shenanigans' in such an awkward manner by a usually articulate professor, caused Chloe to giggle to herself again and she had to clamp her jaw shut to and turn her head slightly away so that she wouldn't make eye contact with Dr. Carson and end up laughing in his face.

"Yeah I hear she's rather intelligent this one." Beca said gesturing to Chloe. "She's also a rather incredible kisser." Chloe couldn't help but let out a small snort at this point, and as a result her professor stuttered his awkward response to Beca, shook his head and then scrambled away as fast as he could. After he had left, both Beca and Chloe burst out laughing.

"Oh Beca, I love you." said Chloe through the laughter. They both stopped and looked at each other when they realised what had been said; the 'l word' had not yet been mentioned by either of them. Chloe looked at Beca intently.

"Erm, that just kind of slipped out, I'm sorry." Chloe paused and looked at Beca, who looked terrified. She sighed. "Actually, no I'm not sorry. I'm glad it did actually, because I've been wanting to say it for ages. Even before we got together, I knew that you were special, that you were, and yes its clichéd but that's me, 'the one'. So yeah, I love you Beca Mitchell."

This time, it was Beca who blushed and then looked at Chloe for a few seconds- which seemed like a lifetime to her- with a dumbstruck look all over her face. She then turned her head slightly away and couldn't keep eye contact with Chloe.

"Um. Okay. Cool. Erm, I guess that's nice. Cheers." was Beca's slow and awkward response before she took her phone out of her pocket and pretend to read the text that hadn't arrived. She started to gather her things away and stood up. "Erm I should probably... I mean... Luke needs to... I just... I need to go. Sorry. I'll call you." and with that she walked away and Chloe was left sat, alone, in disbelief at what had just happened. She had opened her heart to Beca, told her that she loved her and Beca had simply said, "cool".

Beca pulled up on the car park outside of Jesse's apartment and sighed as she switched off the engine. She closed her eyes as she threw her head in disbelief onto the steering wheel. She had let the memories of what had happened between her and Chloe earlier, play through her head the entire drive here and had struggled to focus on the road properly, and now that she was slumped against the wheel, the thoughts were played out again.

_'Chloe loves me. She actually said those three words and I just said, "that's nice". What is wrong with me? I've fucked everything right up.'_

At that final thought, Beca slammed her balled fists onto the wheel and let out a frustrated cry of anguish. Realising where she was and the fact that many Barden students would be returning to their apartments at any minute, she yanked the keys out of the ignition, grabbed her bag off the front seat and stalked over to Jesse's front door. Beca banged on the door in desperation and she was met by Jesse's goofy grin.

"Finally! I've been waiting for this pizza for- sorry, Becs I thought you were the pizza guy." said Jesse who stopped smiling and looked at Beca intently. He knew something wasn't right with her. "What's wrong?" he said as he gestured for her to come in and sit down. She brushed past him without saying a word and sat down on the sofa. He picked up the remote and switched off the movie he was watching and sat down next to Beca.

"Are you going to tell me what's up? I know you're not exactly, an open book when it comes to the 'feeling shit' as you call it, but it does help to talk."

Beca looked at Jesse, who was staring at her with caring eyes and she sighed. "I couldn't do it Jess."

"Do what?"

"Say it back."

"Huh? What are you going on about?" He lifted his hand and felt Beca's forehead, jokingly. "Your temperature is normal, so you can't be that ill."

Beca turned to face him and swatted his hand away from her head. "What are you doing? I'm trying to have a serious conversation with you for once in my life. Can you stop being such a fuckwit?"

"Sorry. I was just trying to establish why you couldn't string together a coherent sentence. I thought you might have a fever or something." Jesse shuffled on the sofa so he was sat crossed-legged in front of Beca. He ran his hand down his face and pulled a serene facial expression. "Right. Hit me. I'm in serious mode."

Beca raised an eyebrow at Jesse, trying to establish whether he was being sarcastic with her. She wouldn't blame him if he was- it would be revenge for all the times she'd been sarcastic to him when he had tried to engage in a serious conversation with her about his growing feelings for Aubrey. She continued anyway; she needed his soppy and romantic expertise.

"Chloe told me she loved me."

"What? For real? Like a genuine declaration of; I love you Beca?"

"Yup. And I couldn't say it back. I just said, that's nice. Cheers." said Beca as she grabbed a cushion and cuddled it in her arms, resting her chin on top, slightly hiding her face.

"Wow Beca. You really know how to treat a lady. Was Chloe pissed at you? I would be because that's so sweet what she said. When did she say it? Where? How did she say it?" he said and looked at Beca expectantly.

"Oh of course she'll be pissed at me. I just kind of got up and walked away. I just left her sitting there. It's just, I just couldn't bring myself to say it back."

Jesse shook his head at Beca. "I hate to be blunt Becs but, you might lose her if you don't. I don't think I could be in a relationship where I put my everything into it and loved a girl with all my heart, like Chloe does with you, and just get an emotionally void response in return. It would hurt."

"Well that's what you'd get with Bitchsen." Jesse raised his eyebrows at Beca and gave her a stern look. "Sorry, Aubrey. She's as messed up as I am."

Jesse laughed incredulously at Beca's remark. "Beca, you seem devoid of all emotion whatsoever. You've been in a relationship with her for five months yet she doesn't really know anything about you because you don't talk to her in that way. You never share anything about your family or past with her. Admittedly, yes, your emotional block has been dented enough for you to actually realise your feelings for her and start a relationship which is progress, but you're stopping her from breaking them down completely and getting to know you on an intimate level which is something you need in a healthy relationship. "

"Uhm, how would you know that I don't talk about 'personal' or 'intimate' things with her? You're not with us 24/7. You don't know everything I say to her." said Beca, emphasising the words 'personal' and 'intimate' with a sarcastic tone.

"Beca, you've been my best friend for 15 years; I know you better than you know yourself sometimes so I guarantee that you've never told Chloe any of that." he looked away from Beca and winced as he quickly said- " Also Chloe told Aubrey who told me." He pulled his hands over his head as protection, waiting for the inevitable smack from Beca, as she hated him talking about her with other people. She went crazy one time when she found out he and Aubrey had been talking to each other about Beca's toner for the redhead. He was sore from the intense wedgie for weeks. However, this time, it never came. Jesse slowly removed his arms from his head and looked up at Beca who was just sat looking lost and confused. She sensed Jesse looking at her and glanced up at him.

"You're right. I haven't told Chloe about any of those things." she sighed in frustration and agitation. "I'm such a fucking mess Jesse. It's true. I do have an inability to feel. I had a shit childhood and so I started to block everything and everyone out to repress the memories of it completely and I continued to do so to prevent myself from ever being hurt again." Beca could feel the tears well up in her eyes but wiped them away, determined not to breakdown and ruin her badass persona in front of Jesse. "I have spent everyday of my life, slowly dying inside, knowing that one day, I'd probably end up like my mother- alone and drunk and dead. And do you know what? I've always been okay with that because I hate my life." Beca paused. "Well hated. Because when I met Chloe, she changed everything. I know, that with her I have the chance to be happy. She lights up my world. I don't know what I'd do if I couldn't wake up beside her in the morning or-" Beca was cut off as Jesse held a finger to her lips.

"Why are you telling me this?" he questioned kindly. "I'm not saying that I don't want to hear it or that I don't care because, obviously, I do, but I think you need to be telling Chloe this. These are the stories she needs to hear to understand the real Beca before she gets frustrated and you lose her."

Beca thought for a moment and then smiled at Jesse. "You're right." she said. "I need to sort this mess out. I need to talk to Chloe pretty urgently don't I?"

"Yes. Yes you do."

Then the smile on Beca's faced changed. It was a mischievous smile and Jesse could tell she was planning something. It was the exact smile she would get on her face when they were 6 years old and it resulted in them doing something extremely fun but undoubtedly getting shouted at by their parents.

"Why don't I go one better? I have an idea." she leaned over to Jesse and whispered her entire plan in his ear- just like she did when they were kids. As she pulled away from him, he smiled at her and complimented her 'ingenious and super awesome plan'- as he put it- and then jumped up to make them both a drink and answer the door to the pizza guy who had finally arrived, whilst Beca set about her plan, firstly by texting all of the Bellas, except one girl who would hate her 'alternative' guts right now and wouldn't want to hear from her. Jesse came back into the room with two glasses, talking to Beca as he sat down.

"So anyway, you never answered my questions. When Chloe told you she loved you, how did she do it? Where did she do it?"

Beca paused and looked at him questioningly. "Oh you were being serious about that? You actually want to know the answers to those?" Beca laughed. "Fucking hell dude. Watching all those movies have turned you into a fucking girl."

"Just because I am sensitive and adorable, it does not make me a girl. It just shows I am caring and lets be frank- perfect boyfriend material for Aubrey. She'll love that I listen and will go and watch girly romcoms with her, as she no longer has Chloe to do that with, because she spends all her time with you, vampire Beca who never leaves her room. Which, if I am to believe popular mythology, is dark and shrouded in the dead souls of people who were once happy, before they set foot in your horrifying lair and, like they had had a kiss with a dementor, have had the life sucked out of them." he said, advancing towards Beca, wiggling his fingers and whistling to make the sound of a ghost. Beca hit him with her cushion and he fell backwards onto the sofa laughing.

"You're such a weirdo." Beca stated and then smiled and joined in with his laughter.

Meanwhile, Chloe had walked back to the apartment she and Aubrey shared, just a few minutes off campus. She had wiped away the tears that had begun to fall when Beca had left her so suddenly and kept in the tears that were welling up in her sorrowful eyes on her walk home, but as soon as she stepped into the apartment and closed the door, she let them fall. She made a soft whimpering noise as she leant on the closed door and slid down it until she was sat on the cold, wooden floor and hugged her knees close to her chest. Within a few seconds, Aubrey had abandoned the dinner she was cooking in the kitchen and was knelt beside Chloe, desperate to help her distraught best friend. She placed one arm around Chloe's shoulders and rested her other hand on one of Chloe's knees, stroking it softly in a circular pattern, all without saying a single word. She had known Chloe for 10 years and knew that all she wanted/needed right at this moment was comforting. They would talk when Chloe had run out of hysterical tears to cry. Chloe cuddled into Aubrey's shoulder and Aubrey pulled her closer, into a caring and safe embrace, letting Chloe cry all over her. When Chloe's crying had subsided a little, she moved her onto the sofa and went to make them both a cup of tea. She came back into the lounge and handed a mug to Chloe. She took it gratefully and then smiled at Aubrey.

"Got anything stronger? I could do with some vodka to numb the memories of this afternoon."

Aubrey looked at her and raised an eyebrow, unsure of whether she was joking or not. "We do, but is that a good idea? You, getting drunk in this state? You usually end up like this at the END of a night of heavy drinking and partying, so if you're like this now, god knows what you'll be like later." she said, trying to remain serious but letting a smile come to her face near the end of her sentence, as she noticed that Chloe was smiling at her for the first time since she had walked through the door half an hour ago.

"What?! I have never sat and cried over-emotionally at the end of a drunken night! Don't know what you're on about." Chloe protested sarcastically.

"May I remind you of, one of many, 'Overly-emotional, drunk Chloe breakdowns', I've had to endure. April 1st 2014, 3:42am, Fat Amy's house party. A particular favourite of mine. I had to sit with you at the top of the stairs for twenty minutes, whilst you cried because, and wait for it... you didn't like the ending to 'How I met your Mother.'"

Chloe grinned at Aubrey. "Well it just wasn't what it should have been and I was very disappointed. That was 9 years of my life gone. Just like that." she said, taking a sip of her tea.

Aubrey smiled and sighed then shook her head and then looked directly at Chloe. "So what has you in tears this time? Don't like the new tie Dr. Carson has?" she said, grinning at Chloe.

Chloe's faced dropped at the reference to her biology professor- it was the conversation with him that had lead to her, obviously unwanted declaration to Beca.

"I told Beca I loved her. Like not even messing around, it was genuine."

Aubrey looked at Chloe with a knowing look on her face. "And because you're sat cuddled up on the sofa with a tear stained face and panda eyes, I'm guessing that she didn't take it very well?"

"Nope. She just mumbled something about it being nice and said cheers and then grabbed her things and left, like she couldn't get away fast enough." Chloe looked straight at Aubrey and noticed the boasting twinkle in her eyes. "And don't even go there and say 'I told you so'. Yes, you've been telling me all along that she's trouble and not worth my time and she doesn't deserve me etcetera, but I really do love her Aubrey."

"Can you live with that though?"

"What do you mean?" Chloe said, looking at Aubrey, confused.

"Well, can you deal with being in a relationship where you put your all into it, open up, share everything about yourself- every like and dislike, every special memory and every dark secret that tortures your soul and never get anything back? Can you deal with being with someone who knows you on such a deep level, but you're still trying to make her comfortable with just holding you at night? Can you deal with being with someone who never opens up to you about how she's doing, what's going on in her head or can't express her love for you?"

Chloe looked at Aubrey dumbfounded. "That's our relationship summed up." she said simply. "I've always brushed those details aside, believing that she'll tell me one day, you know? Like we'll be lying in bed one morning and she'll just open up to me. Tell me everything about herself, share all these thoughts and feelings, memories and secrets, hopes and dreams, just like every couple does. But, this is Beca we're talking about. What if she never does?"

"Then, like I said, you'll just have to question whether you can stay in a relationship like that. Whether you, a colourful, bubbly, happy canvas of intimate artwork, can be happy with a grey, vast and emotionally void space."

Chloe grinned and then laughed out loud.

"What?" questioned Aubrey, slightly offended by her best friend's reaction after she had so kindly helped her.

"I'm sorry, I just, I don't know whether that analogy about canvasses and artwork is the most smart and metaphorically genius thing you've ever said or quite possibly, the cringiest thing you've ever said." she replied and laughed again at Aubrey before stopping abruptly. "In all seriousness though, you're right. I love Beca to bits but it will be, I mean it is, hard to be with her when all I get is silence when I attempt to talk to her about feelings or a shrug and a 'it's a long and boring story' when I ask about her past. I don't know if I will be able to handle it."

Aubrey held Chloe's hand and squeezed it reassuringly. "You'll sort it all out I promise." she said as her phone chimed. She picked it up off the coffee table and opened the text that had just arrived and smiled as she read what it said. "You'll sort it sooner than you think." she said to herself under her breath.

"What did you say?" Chloe asked, intrigued.

Aubrey's head snapped up and looked at Chloe. "Oh nothing, just an out loud, sarcastic, reply to my nightmare father." she stood up and rearranged her crumpled jumper. "Look, I have to go, it's kind of urgent. Sorry. Call me if you need me. There's some pasta in the oven if you're hungry." she said as she kissed Chloe's forehead and headed toward the door. "Oh and also, don't touch the vodka, you're better of staying sober. Bye." and she pulled the door shut with a loud slam. For the second time that day, Chloe was left sat alone in disbelief and confusion.

Chloe stretched and rubbed her eyes as she awoke from her nap. She thought it was best to take Aubrey's advice and not to get drunk, which would have resulted in her doing something incredibly stupid and instead she fell asleep, exhausted from the days events and the incessant crying. She picked her phone up off the table, noting that it had been almost three hours since Aubrey had left so suddenly and started to dial Beca's number before her rational and sober conscience stopped her:

"_She said she'd call you. You don't want to suffocate her with your calls and texts. She'll come to you when she's ready. Don't push her further away than she already is."_

Chloe put her phone back down on the coffee table and instead walked into the bathroom to freshen up. She fixed her make up, pulled her hair into a messy bun and brushed her teeth before smiling sadly at herself in the mirror.

"_She'll come round. We'll sort this out. We'll pull through. We're Bechloe for gods sake. If we can- " _Chloe was disturbed in her thoughts by a soft noise she could hear that captured her attention. It sounded like someone was singing. She tiptoed out of the bathroom, careful not to disturb whoever or whatever it might be. She listened carefully and established that it was coming from outside the front door. It was gradually getting louder and she realised that there were multiple voices, all softly singing a slow 'ooooh' sound. She got closer to the door and smiled to herself as a few lines of a very well known song were sung by a gentle voice, a voice she'd recognise anywhere.

"_Ricocheted, you take your aim, fire away, fire away. You shoot me down but I won't fall, I am titanium."_

Chloe broke into a full grin when she realised what was occurring outside her door and she excitedly skipped the rest of the distance to the door and swung it open. She came face to face with Beca, who smiled at her and shrugged whilst gesturing to the Bellas who were all stood behind her. They carried on singing, the lead vocals being taken over by Aubrey. Chloe opened her mouth, ready to tell Beca that she loved her no matter what but she was silenced by Beca's finger, which she had placed gently onto Chloe's lips. Satisfied that Chloe wouldn't say anything, she removed her hand from near Chloe's face and entwined her fingers with the one hand that Chloe wasn't holding the door open with.

"Just let me say what I have to say first. Now, I'm not usually one for romantic gestures, in fact I'm probably going to have to take a cold shower right after this over, but I realised that I reacted badly to you earlier and probably, well definitely, really hurt you by running off like I did and I need to apologise. I don't know if you've noticed that, I'm not very good at showing my feelings-"

Chloe smiled at Beca and nodded, "Yeah, I noticed."

"- but I'm willing to change that. You, make me want to change that. I had such an awful childhood, my parents arguing constantly, my mum literally drinking herself to death and then having to deal with my dad marrying the step-monster, that even before my tenth birthday, I hated my life. I blocked my feelings and closed myself off to the world, in an attempt to forget that it existed, because all it did was cause me pain and anger. I continually pushed anybody away who tried to get close to me. Then, when my dad found out I was gay, he hated me. I had to live with a man who resented me for months and that was the final, painful and destructive hit. Ever since, I have been emotionally void and closed off to everyone, simply so I didn't get hurt any more. I avoided human compassion and emotion because I believed, honestly, that it didn't exist. But you changed that. When I first saw you at that activities fair, all my emotions come flooding back. I felt like smiling for the first time in a long, long time. And now every time I'm with you, I feel happy, I feel loved and I feel safe, in your arms. Hell I felt like that in moments when you weren't even my girlfriend. When I kissed you, at the ICCAs, that was the first time in about ten years that I knew and felt that I could maybe do this, you know- actually feel emotions and not be a void space. You are the light in my dark, dark existence that I've lived in, my entire life. You are my everything and its because of you that I have begun to break down my walls and realise that people aren't all that bad." Beca gestured to the Bellas who were still singing 'Titanium'. "Without you, I never would have had these awesome dudes as my best friends and although, they're all totally mad, I love them to pieces-even Aubrey- and you made that possible. I love how I get to wake up beside you every morning with you holding me and I love drowning in your ocean blue eyes and I love that, I just, " Beca sighed. "I mean, I guess," she sighed again, giving up trying to explain everything she loved about Chloe and instead summed it up with a simple, yet heartfelt and truthful sentence. "I guess what I'm trying to say is that, I love you too Chloe Beale."

**A/N: When the Bellas are singing 'Titanium', imagine it's the same kind of arrangement as the version by Madilyn Bailey. Which, if you haven't heard, is INCREDIBLE and I love it so much more than the original version. Sorry David Guetta. **

**Also didn't do this at the beginning 'cause it would have mentioned things about the story that I didn't want to spoil but... DISCLAIMER: I don't own Pitch Perfect or any of the characters or anything related to it.. except the DVD. Neither do I own 'How I met your Mother'- if I did, it would have ended differently because it is my favourite TV programme ever and in my opinion (which is expressed through Chloe in this fic) THEY RUINED 9 AMAZING SEASONS WITH THAT SHITTY ENDING. I HONESTLY DON'T THINK I WILL EVER GET OVER THIS DISAPPOINTMENT. I AM REALLY NOT HAPPY WITH IT. *calms down, slightly*.. okay, rant over. Erm, I don't own anything related to David Guetta's or Madilyn Bailey's music. Basically, for anything I mentioned in this fic I could done for in terms of copyright or whatever, I don't own. **


End file.
